 The Poker Fairies
Ever found a pound under your pillow in the place of a old tooth?
Ever had the most amazing luck in a game of poker?
Ever Lost to the only card left in the deck on the river?
Read on, This is the REAL Story why the same people get to the final stages of the WPT and WSOP every year!
Poker, Ah Poker, what a glorious game. Theres no other game which gets your heart rate up to 200bpm, and make you want to either scream with excitement or reach over the table - or through your computer - and whack the four eyed geek, who eats 20 chesseburgers a day, and the only exercise he gets is the 2minutes he spends infront of his computer every day at x-rated sites, sitting in the chair opposite you. The truth is poker is not skill, statistics wont help your game, all the mental disipline and even if you play the best you have ever played you will never win a poker hand unless you believe in, and yes i will say it again, you will never win a single poker hand unless you believe in fairies!
First of all, whats a fairie you might be wondering, well the dictionary says a faerie is "A tiny imaginary being in human form, depicted as clever, mischievous, and possessing magical powers." Ive highlighted the two key words in this definition. Now poker faeries are a little different, because you have 4 types of poker faerie, note the 4 faeries are sometimes refered to as the 4 bitches. The first type, is the "pocket faerie" This nasty bitch controlls the cards you get pre-flop, she decides who gets what. Im definetely sure that raymer made a deal with her and recieved his two pocket aces the first two hands, remember?
The second type of faerie is the "Flop Faerie" She decides on the flop. The third type is the "turn faerie" She decides on the turn. The Fouth, and the most mischievous faerie of them all is the "River Faerie" She decides on the river, and usually the Winner and the Loser of the hand.
The pocket faerie, the Flop faerie, the turn faeire and the river faeire sometimes work together to play nasty tricks on the players at the table. Ever seen everyone get a high pocket pair? and then they all get trips on the flop, and the guy sitting with the two Suited connectors just made the nut straight, well thats the works of the 4 bitches, "The Poker Faeries!".
Rubbish you say? "Theres no such thing as faeries!" Sshhhhhhh!!! Dont say that, everytime you say that it angers the Poker Faeries and they will give you a hand of bad luck! Bad beats are always the work of the Faeries. If you faeries like you, you will do good, if not - give up playing now because you have no chance. I always say "I love you all" before i start playing poker and this makes them happy and will help me out a little, the river faerie might be the most michievous fairie of the lot but she is also one for the romantic, she loves it when you tell her how much you appreciate her work.
-----------------------------------------------------
PM to Fonz - I can get on to the apply of approval thread, can i please apply.
-----------------------------------------------------
Last edited by Zaphor; 04-19-2005 at 10:01 PM.
| 
