 Talking Smack while playing online
A big part of my game is putting people on tilt by verbal taunting. "Coffee Housing" can be a tactful way to induce a call. Over the years I have written down my favorite one liners I have heard or seen online. Please feel free to use them against any player you feel is a real douche bag.
"I will take down your stack faster than Bobby Fisher takes down opponents in Chess"
"You've been PAP'd"
"I crush you like stale government rationed bread"
"I have moves Muhammad Ali only dreamed about"
"Hey Fischman I thought I saw you on TV last night, come to find out it was the ladies event of the WSOP"
"I'm pushin you around like a midget at the airport"
"I am gonna hang you out to dry just like I did with your girl friends panties"
"Congrats you just paid for my happy meal"
"It's butcher time"
"You must crap four leaf clovers."
"Maybe you should go to the play tables with your
tissues."'
"You play looser than a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving"
"You keep calling hands like that, you will end up at the stay and pray table playing with my sister."
"You got a halo over our head or something, explain to me why you would play that?"
"I will roll your stack over like asphalt"
"32 in the waist, cute in the face and hit hard"
"You keep calling that crap, you'll end up back at the play tables."
"You learn that move by watching Celebrity Poker?"
"Your the dumbest chaser since Wile E. Coyote."
"Keep hating, I will watch the money pile up"
"Price of gas is going down, just like your stack."
"I will break you like a beer bottle on the side of a curb."
"I will crush you like a piece of cereal."
I will crumble you like a cracker, and put you in my soup.
"If you draw out on me one more time I 'm going to show you how we used to play poker in prison, ...and it ain't with cards beautiful."
"I was running so badly, I swear, if it was raining pussy ...I would get hit by a dick."
"If you want to push buttons at random, go play in an elevator"
"Even a goof ball can catch cards."
"I am going to put my evil inside of you."
"I'm working on my player notes. Does anyone know another word for "retarded?"
"If that kicker was holding up your bike as a kid you would have had alot of skinned knees."
"You are easier to read than a Dr. Seuss book."
" a straight flush is like a sore d1ck, you just can't beat it"
"With hands like that, I gather you lose on this site"
"Are you a biologist?" "No, why?" "For awhile, it looked like a chimp took hold of your mouse."
"You must be fred sanford's forgotten son playing junk like that."
"Poker is like sex for you, you don't know the first thing about it, and you do it alone in front of a computer" | 
